Accepting an Opposite

Science has shown that you can try to naturally choose the gender of your baby. Using natural gender selection techniques lets you increase your odds of having a son or daughter -- but it's not 100% guaranteed.  

What Does "Increase the Odds" Mean? 

 As you read above, you can try and choose your baby's gender naturally. You can make it much more likely that you'll get what you're dreaming of. Scientists call the number of boys born to the number of girls born the "gender ratio" -- and research shows that many things, such as diet and hormones, can influence the gender ratio.

This means that you can use research-based techniques to improve your chances of getting the gender you desire. If you want a girl, you can make it more likely you'll get a girl. If you want a boy, you can make it more likely you'll get a boy. So increasing the odds means you'll make it more likely -- but there is no guarantee. That means that for all women who try to choose their baby's gender, some women will get an "opposite" of what they want.  

Any Baby 

It's important to think carefully when you (and your husband) decide to use natural gender selection techniques. You need to search your heart. Even though you know you greatly desire a specific gender, are you open to a baby of the opposite gender? Would you be okay with a son if your heart desires a daughter? Could you be happy for a daughter if you long for a son? These are important questions to ask yourself. If you think you'd be devastated by a baby of the opposite gender, it's probably best not to try natural gender selection techniques.  

Gender Disappointment is Normal 

 I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel any disappointment -- some disappointment is normal if you discover you're having an opposite. It's normal to have a few sad days while you mourn not having the son or daughter you wanted. If you feel that you cannot cope with the feelings you have, though, you should seek help. Talk to your midwife, doula, or a compassionate friend. You can also find support for gender disappointment online where you can share your feelings safely and with relative anonymity. Taking good care of yourself will help you overcome gender disappointment. You'll feel better physically and mentally knowing that you're taking good care of your baby. Remember, you do not need to share your baby's gender during pregnancy if you don't feel comfortable doing so. You can let people know it's a surprise and that you'd rather not talk about it! Take things easy and try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy -- and remember to reach out for help.



Photo by mxgirl85